CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Elinor looked at him in terror, unable to speak. She then began to walk out of the room.

"Miss Dashwood, please stay for a few minutes. I must speak with you."

"No, sir," she replied firmly, "I shall not stay."

"Please, I will speak quickly, but I came to speak with you."

"With me!" she exclaimed in astonishment. "Well, sir, speak quickly!"

"Please tell me," he began, "how is she doing?"

"She has improved in the last day, but she is still quite ill."

Willoughby was silent, looking quite worried after hearing the news. He then began again.

"When I first met your family, I had no plans to fall in love with your sister; I simply wanted to spend my time pleasantly in the country. Your sister's lovely behavior was kind and gentle, but I must admit that my plan at the beginning was only to be pleasing to her, without returning her love."

Miss Dashwood then looked at him with anger, saying, "Please do not pain me by telling me anything more on the subject."

"I insist that you hear the whole story," he replied. "My fortune was never large, and I had always spent a great deal of money. In recent years, I have collected a large debt. My aunt, Mrs Smith, has planned to give me a great deal of her fortune, but it has never been certain. Therefore, I had planned to marry a wealthy woman. So, you see, when I first met your sister, I had no plans to marry her. My behavior, I know, was mean, selfish and cruel. At that time, I did not know how terribly I was treating your sister, as I did not know what it was to love. But, I believe I know now. So, as to keep my expensive habits, I married a wealthy woman, instead of living a rather poor life with your sister."

"You did then," said Elinor, "at one time love her." "Yes, I was sincerely fond of her, and planned to tell her. That last day before I left, Mrs Smith had found out of my love affair with another young woman, which I am sure you have heard about. Mrs Smith demanded that I immediately return to London to see the girl. You must remember that you have only heard one side. I know I was guilty, but she was weak and passionate, and did not understand. I, perhaps, should have treated her better, but she was guilty, as well."

"Your indifference, however, towards that unfortunate girl is no apology for your cruel treatment of her. While you were enjoying yourself in the country, always happy, she was suffering in the worst way."

"I tell you, I did not know," he warmly replied. "I did give her my address, and she should have known how to contact me."

"What did Mrs Smith say?"

"She told me to leave immediately, so I went to see Marianne quickly before I left. I was confused when I went to see her; just a few hours before this terrible event, I had planned to ask Marianne to marry me, but when Mrs Smith found out about my previous love affair, I knew she would never give me the fortune she promised. Then, I knew I could never marry Marianne without a fortune."

"Well sir, have you forgotten what happened in London?" "Ah! The infamous letter! Did she let you read it?"

"I have read all her letters," Elinor replied calmly.

"At first, I decided not to respond to her note, as I had just become engaged to Miss Grey. Soon after, however, I thought I should go for a visit, acting as a distant friend. So, one day I watched you and your sister leave with Mrs Jennings. Then, I went to the house."

"You watched us leave!"

"Yes, I often watched you two walking down the street, but I never attempted to speak to your sister. I felt quite guilty when I saw your sister looking quite pale at the party in town. She looked miserable, and I felt terrible, so I left immediately. Miss Grey had heard of a girl I was interested in, and supposed Marianne was the same girl, and she became quite envious." "But the letter, Mr Willoughby, your own letter. What do you have to say about that?"

"Yes, that letter. Your sister wrote me again, the very next morning. I was having breakfast with Sophia, and she saw a letter for me. She opened it immediately, expecting it to be from the mysterious girl she had seen at the party. She was quite angry with me, and demanded that she write the letter to Marianne, insisting that I was not in love with her. What do you think of my wife's style of writing?"

"Your wife! The letter was in your own hand-writing."

"Yes, but I had copied what she wrote. Writing that letter was so difficult, as I knew I would no longer be considered a dear friend of your family, and I understood how deeply this would hurt your sister."

"You are very wrong, Mr Willoughby," said Elinor, although she did now feel pity for him. "You must not speak badly about your wife now."

"Do not talk to me of my wife," he said sadly. "She does not love me, and never loved me. And now do you pity me? My intentions were not always wrong. I hope you will explain to your sister what I have told you."

"Yes, I will."

"Well, I must leave, then. I shall now go away and live in fear of one event."

"What do you mean?"

"Your sister's marriage."

(end of section)